Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Oh Stupid Chickens, Who Hath Bewitched Thee?

I may or may not have mentioned that lately our egg production has dropped off severely. We were getting about eighteen eggs a day. Now we're averaging nine.

Why? I suppose they wondered why we were harvesting the fruits of their labor and decided to give them a try. Lo and behold, chickens love eating eggs. Filthy little cannibals.

I didn't know this about chickens before we had them. There were a lot of things I didn't know about chickens before we had them. But I do know that I will never again feel bad about eating the grody creatures. They deserve to be eaten and good riddance.

Case in point: my husband spent many hours away from farm duties to rig up a system to prevent their poaching. Pulleys, trap doors, pipes, gravity systems; it would have made Rube Goldberg proud. For about one week our problems were solved. The eggs would roll to the back of the laying boxes, out of harm's way, or else drop through a hole into a padded bucket below. Voila.

But no. Those furious little bird brains were scheming, and hatched a plot so brilliantly stupid we couldn't have anticipated it.

They now go into the egg-laying boxes head first.

With their hind ends hanging out in the breeze.

So their eggs kersplat into the coop below where a bunch of eager biddies are greedily awaiting a scrambled egg breakfast.

I hate chickens.

18 comments:

Katherine said...

I had no idea chickens do that. They really are the stupidest birds. Without humans, they'd have gone the way of the Dodo long ago.

Kathryn said...

In my youth I spent many years raising chickens and learned a few tricks for dealing with egg eaters.

1. Feed them oyster shells. It ensures(insures?) that they get enough calcium which can be one cause for eating eggs.

2. Hang cloth over the open ends of the nesting boxes, they're less likely to eat eggs in the dark(even I don't understand that).

Jenna St. Hilaire said...

Gah... that's farm animals for you! We had everything from a rooster who sat on eggs, to a hen who brooded only to eat the eggs, to a rooster who nearly spurred my sister in the eye when she went egg-collecting. It's clear why free-range chickens' eggs cost so much more in the grocery, as opposed to the ones who are confined in little cages with holes in the floor. :S

Best of luck! I'd give you some hints, but I honestly don't know. There has to be a way...

April Harris said...

Oh my goodness, I had no idea chickens ate eggs! How awful! No wonder you don't like them anymore!!

Farmer's City Wife said...

LOL!!! If they weren't so tasty, I wish they WOULD have gone the way of the Dodo! That's hilarious, Katherine :).

Farmer's City Wife said...

We do provide oyster shells, but the cloth I hadn't heard of. I'll call my husband right away -- if this gives us even a few more eggs a day it'd be completely worth it. Thank you!!

Farmer's City Wife said...

You had chickens? Awful little creatures, aren't they?? And I completely agree about the free range cost. Who knew we'd have to write off cannibalized eggs as a business loss?

Cathy said...

don't tell me that!! I want some chickens SOOOO bad! and, how long have you had them? I thought they only had a laying life of around 2 years or so?

Farmer's City Wife said...

Mm hm. Given the choice between an egg and a worm, I bet they'd go for the egg. Blech!

Farmer's City Wife said...

I still want chickens... just good ones :-D. I really want to replace this flock with a new one, and use all of the stuff we've learned about chickens to avoid the same problems (especially pecking and egg-eating).
We've only had these a year, so in theory they could lay another year (if they don't hit the stewing pot before then).

Lisa Gale said...

Oh my goodness - those chickens are HILARIOUS!!!! I can just picture them with their butts sticking out in the air. The mental picture is hysterical :)

Farmer's City Wife said...

I alternate between guffawing, groaning, and growling. Entertainment, to be sure. :)

Sharon said...

Hahaha!!! I know diddly-squat about raising chickens. This one made me laugh my head off! Thanks for sharing! :)

Farmer's City Wife said...

LOL! Thanks, Sharon! :-D

Maria said...

"They deserve to be eaten and good riddance." HAHAHAAHHAH!!! Love that line. Great title, too. I could hear Fr. Groeshel saying it in my head.

Farmer's City Wife said...

So could I :-D.

Diane said...

I know to you it isn't funny, but I can't help but laugh. Our chickens aren't eating the eggs yet, but they refuse most of the time to lay the egg in the nesting box. Instead they prefer to lay the egg where they sleep at night which in turn gets chicken poo on them. I can so identify. I still love them though.
Blessings
Diane

Farmer's City Wife said...

I don't know how they train chickens for circuses, since it's so hard to train them to act like chickens! :)

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