Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Gurgle Gurgle

I have 20 guests coming over tonight.

And the toilets, sinks, tubs, dishwasher, and washing machine are backed up. (The plumber promises to come early this afternoon).

Every once in a while the toilets actually make a bubbling sound, much like the geysers at National Parks.

I hope they don't blow.

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Easy Way Out

My 2nd grade niece doesn't like spelling. Lately I've been giving her some simple writing assignments. In her attempt to avoid difficult spelling words, she writes some rather amusing sentences.

Write sentences using antonyms:

"It is green so you can go. It is red so you can stop." (avoided: "light")
"Mom is down and I am up." (avoided: "downstairs" and "upstairs")

and my personal favorite...

"Fr. D is old, and Molly is new." (avoided: "young")

Monday, September 28, 2009


Peaches and nectarines are over. Sadly.

Pears, apples, plums and prunes are in full swing. The pears are, simply put, pure sugar. The apples are crisp and juicy. The plums literally burst open when you bite into them.

Now prunes.

I'd never had one that wasn't dried.

And we all know what dried prunes do.

But these don't.

Let the fearless prune glutting begin.

Sunday, September 27, 2009

I'm Delusional

Yesterday I spoke of my garden fantasy. Then I proceeded to waste a *cough cough* lot of time looking up on Gurney's what I would put in that phantasm of a plot of land:

Beans Jade Bush Bean $3.45
Purple Pod Pole Beans $2.45
Improved Golden Wax Bush Beans $1.95
Broccoli Green Magic Hybrid $2.95
Brussel Sprouts Royal Marvel Hybrid $3.95
Carrot Envy Hybrid Carrot $2.95
Cauliflower Cheddar Hybrid Cauliflower $3.95
Corn Cloud Nine Hybrid Sweet Corn $3.45
Gotta Have It Hybrid Sweet Corn $5.45
Cucumber Straight Eight Slicing Cucumber $2.25
Miss Pickler Hybrid Pickling $2.25
Garlic California White Garlic $4.95
Greens Tangy Mesculun Mix Greens $2.95
Herbs Oregano $1.95
Italian Parsley $1.75
Sage $1.95
Rosemary $5.95
Tarragon $5.95
Lettuce Lettuce Blend $2.25
Buttercrunch Lettuce $1.75
Leek American Flag Leek Onion $1.95
Melon Sangria Hybrid Watermelon $2.95
Desert King Watermelon $2.75
Gurney's Li'l Sweet Cantaloupe $3.95
Okra Clemson's Spineless 80 Okra $1.95
Onions Giant Red Hamburger $1.95
Yellow Ebenezer Onion $4.95
Peas Green Arrow Peas $1.75
Oregon Sugar Pod II Snow Peas $1.95
Peppers Hungarian Yellow Hot Pepper $1.95
Gurney's Sonora II Hybrid (Jalap) $3.95
Super Heavyweight Sweet Peppers $3.95
Radish German Giant Parat Radish $1.95
Spinach Tyree Spinach $1.95
Squash Waltham Butternut Winter Squash $1.95
Early Prolific Straightneck Summer $1.95
Portofino Hybrid Summer Squash $4.95
Strawberries Sparkle Supreme Junebearing $9.95
Tomatoes Sweet Baby Girl Hybrid Tomato $2.95
Roma Tomato $1.95
Early Girl Hybrid $2.95

Um. Maybe I should start with a few bean sprouts.

Saturday, September 26, 2009

Garden Fantasies

You may remember from here and here that I love the idea of gardening but in lived experience think it's gross. When I think of gardening, I think bountiful harvests of already-picked and washed vegetables with the added pride of being "from our garden." When I do gardening, I think dirt caked under my fingernails, aching back, ew what was that slimy thing that just crawled over my foot and wow, I babied that thing for months and it just up and died without bearing fruit!

But, for some reason, I can't stop dreaming about gardening. I see others' home canned, frozen and fresh hauls from their magazine-like fairy gardens and think, "Okay, next year, I'm REALLY gonna do it! Never mind that I never staked this year's tomatoes so they ended up as long twiggy vines with fruit I can't find until it's fallen and rotted. I just need to get organized, order a million seeds, start them all in little containers... and wait to reap a bumper crop of every vegetable and herb I can imagine."

Oh, and I need to stop by the grocery store to pick up some tomatoes for tonight's salsa.