Tuesday, December 29, 2009

All Dressed Up and Nowhere to Go

I'm really lost without internet in our house. But, we received our high speed modem / wireless router in the mail yesterday! I was so excited I actually did a little dance.

Of course, though, there's always one missing crucial piece that's 'not included.' Batteries, perhaps? Or a printer with no USB cable. Or cameras... no memory card. Instant gratification is the unattainable holy grail of technology. So I was preparing myself to open the box and not have a power cord, or a CAT5 cable, or a phone cord. Imagine my shock when every single necessary item was included in that little box of joy!! I added a few steps to my happy dance.

Plug and play, baby... plug and play!

Wrappers flying, twisty ties tossed aside, insert cord here, power up item here... wait a second... hang on...

I did not know until 11:32pm last night that we don't have any phone jacks in the house.

Thwarted again.

Monday, December 28, 2009

Keep Your Joy

My husband took me out to dinner the day after Christmas. The waitress, who seemed to have a hangover, asked us with a cheerless face and duldrum voice, "Did you survive the holiday?"

Um, yes... yes we did.

There are still 5 more days of the Octave of Christmas, and 9 more days of the liturgical Christmas season.

Don't throw out your tree! Don't lose joy!

Rejoice! Again I say, rejoice!

Thursday, December 24, 2009

Merry Christmas

May the sweet omnipotent baby blessings of our Infant King be upon you and your family.

Merry Christmas! (Yes, it's a Solemnity, you can eat meat tomorrow in good conscience! YAHOO!)

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

On Toothpaste

I walked into the bathroom a few weeks ago and was horrified to find not one, not two, not three, but FOUR open toothpaste tubes. How, pray tell, did we get so many?

Well, you see... two people got married and each brought a tube to the marriage. The others were added when the minty paste took a journey from one bathroom to the other and I thought we were out, so I bought another -- and my husband did the same (I kid you not). Now we have four.

My husband assured me we'd use just one tube at a time. He plastic-wrapped the extras together and stored them in the back of the medicine cabinet, not to be opened until direst need.

This system has worked wonderfully. But I think he's taking it a bit too far.

I spent what seemed like an eternity (when you've got socks on your teeth every second feels like an hour) trying to squeeze the last bit out of one of the nearly-empty tubes. "Can we please open a new one?" I begged.

With his iron-like farmer's forearms he squeezed a little blip out of the tube for me.

"Nah, this one's good for another two days."

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

The Thief Made Me Honest

Our old laptop picked up a free wireless signal. Well, in two spots in the house, anyway... if you balanced it just right on your lap... and if it wasn't too overcast... and if it wasn't a bank holiday.

But it was free. And for the most part, it worked like a charm.

This new computer we have doesn't pick up the signal. So we actually have to pay for internet.

What's this world coming to?

Monday, December 21, 2009

Christmas Generosity

I was lamenting a bit earlier this year that we'd have no Christmas tree. I already purchased a nativity scene (which is gorgeous!) and couldn't justify the extra expense of more Christmas decorations this year.

Well, last week my husband brought home an 8 foot tree (our ceiling is about 7 1/2 feet). No tree skirt, no stand, no topper, no lights, no ornaments. But our house smells like pine!!

Our generous Aunt and Uncle (who also graciously opened their home, rent free, to me when I first moved up here after we were engaged) gave us lights, a skirt and a topper! My in-laws donated a tree stand. People from church have been giving us boxes of ornaments! It's incredible!

The generosity of these wonderful people is humbling. May the baby blessings of our sweet Infant Jesus richly reward them.

Saturday, December 19, 2009

Library Filters

So we thought we could live without buying another computer for a while (since the non-hamburglar stole our laptop).

But the local library has Blogger blocked. No Blogger, no City Wife, Country Life.

Suddenly the intensity of our shopping has escalated exponentially.

Thursday, December 17, 2009

Not the Hamburglar

At 1:40 in the morning on December 15th, an unwelcome guest came into our house. We were at home, asleep.

My husband (who could sleep through the Second Coming) woke up as he saw the man leaving our bedroom. He yelled after him. "What is it? You're scaring me," I said waking up. He didn't say anything. "Is there someone in our house?" I whispered. Almost imperceptibly, he nodded.

The next few minutes felt like hours. We waited and listened. All I could hear was our heartbeats and my husband's quickened breath.

Was the man armed? Had he taken anything? Was he going to come back into our bedroom? Was it someone we knew? I couldn't reach my phone to dial 911, I couldn't reach our gun, and I didn't want to get out of the bed. I couldn't have if I'd wanted to. My husband had thrown himself on top of me and held me with an iron grip... every muscle of his body tensed. I prayed the St. Michael the Archangel prayer, Memorares, and Acts of Contrition. I thought of my parents' prayers for us, how much I loved my husband, and yes... dear readers... I thought of how I was glad I'd put on clean underwear... for the coroner's sake.

After years of watching Perry Mason (where every minute is a crucial detail in the court case) I checked the time. 1:51am.

Finally the silence broke. The back door slid closed. Then, THUMP. Seconds later, THUMP.

Ever so slowly, my husband got out of bed, grabbed a piece of driftwood we keep (for decoration) and walked throughout the house to make sure a) the intruder had gone, and b) there was no one else.

The house was clear. Nothing appeared to be gone.

We called the police.

Minutes later the neighbors' Christmas lights were outshone by swirling blue and red. Loud shouting. Dogs barking. Screaming. Cursing. Barking. Screaming. Radio transmissions: "Suspect headed towards (such and such) Street." Yelling. Barking. An unholy shriek, and then a thud. "Suspect down."

I breathed.

The police were able to track him quite easily -- it had just snowed. He had been hiding in a nieghbor's yard. The K-9 unit helped sniff him out. He'd resisted arrest. He'd fled. He was drunk. They tracked him down and got him with a taser.

It wasn't until the next morning we'd discovered my laptop was missing. It had been right next to our bed; at the head. He was that close. That was probably the first "thump" -- him throwing it over a fence before jumping it himself.

The man is in jail now. No sign of my computer.

Other than a stolen laptop, a box of stolen Kleenex and a brown pile of DNA evidence in our yard (burglars are disgusting), everything appears to be fine.

My husband and I have tried to keep busy. We made 10 lbs. of bratwurst, 5 lbs. of Italian sausage, and 3 dozen tamales. Bratwurst: it's okay. Italian sausage: amazing. Tamales: perfection.

I'm going to make a chicken and sausage gumbo for tonight's dinner. And other than checking the locks on our house compulsively, we're doing all right. Though I haven't tired yet of asking...

"Did you lock the back door?"

Tuesday, December 15, 2009


Had a family... emergency... last night.

I won't be posting for an indefinite amount of time. :( Please pray for us.

Monday, December 14, 2009

Renewal of Card Parties

While reading O'Henry's short stories yesterday, I was amused by the frequent references to class, good breeding, elegant manners, and high society. These social refinements are now relics of a not-too-distant past. Elegance was the first casualty of efficiency. Nobleness of character and manner are quaint fashions in the shock-and-awe crudery of modernity.

Not while I still draw breath.

My husband spent over an hour last night trying to explain Pinochle to me. I'm determined to revive the great American tradition of card parties. My goal is Bridge, but I'll settle for anything above Crazy 8's, Go Fish and Texas Hold 'Em.

This Saturday, we're inviting another couple over to play cards. I'll get to make hors d'œuvres and serve them on a silver tray. We'll sip sherry and laugh politely amidst trumps and tricks and queens and jacks.

Maybe I'll wear pearls.

Saturday, December 12, 2009

Christmas Gifts

Other people make beautiful cookies and truffles on lace doilies in cute tins to give for Christmas gifts. That's what I gave out when I lived in the city.

Now? Well... there have been multiple requests for Christmas boudin and fresh sausage.

I wonder how that would look on a doily?

Friday, December 11, 2009

Homemade Pasta

So I said I was going to make homemade pasta yesterday and guess what? We actually did!

I didn't whip out the camera until after I'd made the dough, though. But its 3 ingredients are:
  • 2 3/4 cups of flour
  • 1 tsp. salt
  • 4 large eggs (yes, for once it does make a difference... they do need to be large)
Combine the flour and salt in your mixer bowl, add eggs 1 at a time using the flat paddle for 2 minutes, or until large clumps are formed. Turn off the mixer and try to form the dough into a ball. If it's dry and shaggy, add a tsp. of water at a time (mixing in between) and try to form a ball again. If it's sticky, add a Tbsp. of flour at a time (mixing in between) until it sticks together but not to your hand. (I ended up having to add about 5 tsp. of water because I originally put too much flour in).

Here's the main player: the glorious attachment called the pasta roller.

Here's my beautiful dough cut into pieces after "resting" for 20 minutes.

Let the rolling begin (on setting 1, speed 2).

 Lookin' pretty good, hm? So far so great.

"Uh oh. That's not what pasta's supposed to look like. Dear husband, you're doing something wrong!"

"No I'm not. It'll work, trust me."

"I trust you, but it's lookin' kinda funky." 

"It always looks like this. You just have to work the dough and don't put it in too thick."

"You're a genius! It's beautiful!" (still on speed 2, setting 1, after about 5 passes through)

Just keep working it. When it's the width of the roller you can move onto the next setting. (speed 2, setting 2)

"It's starting to look like real pasta sheets! This is amazing!" (speed 2, setting 3)

It's the width of the roller and is nice and flat and soft, it's ready to cut. (speed 2, roller setting 4 for thick noodles or 5 for "the-way-I-like-it" fettuccine).

Now we're using the fettuccine cutter. I'm so proud of this picture -- it looks like real pasta! (because it is)

Just a few more...  (you can flour the noodles a bit if they're sticking together. Try to cut each sheet right after you roll it [it's not that hard to switch the attachments], or it might dry out before you cut it).

In the meantime, make a nice pot of Swedish Meatballs (recipe coming soon).

Don't you love winter food?

Look at that steam!

This is why I could never be a vegetarian.

Boil the noodles as long as they need (ours were thicker so they took about 5 minutes, but it can take as little as 1 or 2). I snuck some cabbage into the swedish meatball sauce before serving.... because... well... I love cabbage.

And so does my husband. (This meal goes great with beer, by the way).

Cold winter Advent evenings with my husband are so nice. O Come O Come Emmanuel!

Yes, I use a broken pink candle in our Advent wreath. Just keepin' it real.

Free Friday continues. Get 20 free Christmas iTunes downloads. I don't even have an iPod, but I love these songs and thought you might, too :).

Thursday, December 10, 2009

Small Stuff


1. I made bread this week! It's my 3rd try (and the first attempts weren't roaring successes, but I was determined to stick with it). I had my first true bread baking success. Light fluffy loaf, husband's nod of approval, cost a fraction of store-bought bread and has no dubious ingredients. Yay!

2. Made a rather mature financial decision (despite the fact my inner child was throwing a tantrum) not to buy a Christmas tree this year because we have no ornaments or lights (our first Christmas). Instead, we put our priorities straight and bought a nativity scene, I made an Advent wreath, and we'll slowly start accumulating ornaments and lights for next year (in the post-Christmas clearances). (I can't even buy this adorable dinnerware!! Ah well.)

3. I called my senators this week. I've sent form e-mails in the past, but I've never had the courage to call them. I don't know what I was afraid of -- it was so simple! Sadly our state's senators helped vote down the pro-life health care legislation, but at least I wasn't silent.

Check out others' small successes this week @ Faith and Family Live.


I'm going to try my hand at pasta making today! Say a small prayer it turns out well, please :).

Tuesday, December 8, 2009


I used to wake up to the sound of an alarm clock.

Now I wake up early in the morning to phone calls for my husband.

"The cows are out."

Friday, December 4, 2009

Forgetful Baking

A few months ago, I was commissioned to do a birthday cake.

I forgot about it.

The party is tomorrow. And I'm going on a long road trip tomorrow.

So I'll be baking and covered in icing all day today. Wish me luck. =)

But I'll be playing (yes I know it's Advent, but the radio stations don't) Christmas music! It makes me happy. Don't judge me. Just so you know, I play Christmas music in April, too. (hehe)

Enjoy some free Christmas MP3 downloads at Amazon.

Thursday, December 3, 2009

Moving in the Right Direction


1. Gave in to my nieces' pleas for a craft project and we made Christmas countdown paper chains. (Yes I do think that's a success, actually.) See below.

2. I have finished almost all of the Thanksgiving leftovers. Fried stuffing balls are actually pretty good, hehe.

3. I made a pretty Advent wreath for $7 (yay Dollar Tree).

Check out others' small successes this week at Faith and Family Live!
It was a very simple project.

Made a simple bell using construction paper. (It just decorates the top of the chain).

Divided the construction paper up into 6 parts (fold in half, then fold each half in 3rds) and made swirly patterns on every other section with glue. Covered in glitter (notice how my table is PLASTERED WITH NEWSPAPER... that's of vital importance).

Shook off the glitter (and promptly funneled it back into the container).

So easy a 2nd grader can do it.

We cut the paper into strips. Then they started weaving them, and gluing.

And holding for a few seconds.

Many hands make light work.

Each day they'll rip off a chain until Christmas!

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Homemade Boudin (blanc and rouge)

Well, many of you have asked me how the sausage making went.

In the words of my dear husband, "It was an unqualified success."

We made boudin rouge (blood sausage, solely for my father-in-law's sake) and boudin blanc, my absolute favorite Louisiana staple.

I was born in Louisiana, and most of my extended family still lives there. We moved away when I was 2, but I was still raised on the Cajun/Creole cuisine: red beans and rice, dirty rice, gumbo, boudin, jambalaya, etoufee, shrimp creole, cracklin, po'boys... YUM.

I used Emeril's recipe for boudin and doubled it.

I was SO PLEASED!! It's EXACTLY Louisiana boudin! Actually, it was better, becuse we made it :).

The blood sausage still gives me indigestion just thinking about it. I tried to have as little to do with it as possible. So my father-in-law and husband made it.

I love my father-in-law. He made sausage in his cap and suspenders.

But seriously, it was gory. It was bloody. It was disgusting.

The post-cooked pictures aren't that bad. (E-mail me if you want the recipe, but I'm not posting it here! Blech!)


Okay, think I'm being a baby? I'll show you a picture.

See? It was gross!

So there.

And my kitchen looked like a scene from CSI.

But I'm more than happy with my personal stash of real Louisiana boudin!

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

I Made St. Andrew Chaplets!

  • .018" 19 strand bead stringing wire
  • 15 8mm purple beads (I used some kind of amethyst)
  • 14 4mm sterling silver filigree beads
  • 2 1.3mm crimp beads
  • 1 medal (St. Andrew is ideal, but use a Miraculous Medal in a pinch)
  • 1 St. Andrew prayer
Hail and Blessed be the hour and moment
in which the Son of God was born
of the most Pure Virgin Mary
at midnight, in Bethlehem, in piercing cold.

In that hour, vouchsafe O my God,
to hear my prayers and grant my petitions,
through the merits of Our Savior, Jesus Christ
and His Blessed Mother, Amen.

You, too, can make a beautiful chaplet like this.


I absolutely love these beads!

I made two... one for my husband and one for myself -- though I think I'll send one to my mom, too.

The chaplet began yesterday (on the Feast of St. Andrew) and will go until Christmas.

St. Andrew is one of the many patrons of want-to-be mothers.

Monday, November 30, 2009

Leftover Gift Cards

I have a drawer full of gift cards. Unused, and losing $1.95 a month in service fees.

We got a million gift cards for our wedding, and I just don't want to spend them! What if I don't get the perfect item? What if I use it and then something new and amazing comes out the next week?

The thing is, honestly, the gift cards are to stores I would never shop in because they're so expensive. Even though it's technically "free," I still feel like I'm getting ripped off!

It's time to take a deep breath, let go, and go on a shopping spree!

Saturday, November 28, 2009

Worse than Seasickness, but Eerily Similar

I'm more than a little ill at the moment.

I had my most intense initiation into farm life.

I watched the pig slaughter this morning. And I watched my husband collect the blood for the blood sausage. And I watched the butcher skin and gut the animal (saving the hearts and livers for sausage).

And I was doing great.

Until now, when I got home and there's a pig leg (who I saw walking around this morning) in my refrigerator.

It's time to make the sausage but I can't even stand up... I'm confined to my bed, not to be disturbed.

(Yeah, I'll get up in a while and try to get into it with great gusto, but I need a moment to... recover).

Am I a vegetarian now? No. But I won't take meat for granted anymore.

Friday, November 27, 2009

New Hobby

I haven't picked up a new hobby in a while, but I think I've found one I can't resist.

I've made rope rosaries before, but have always wanted to do chain rosaries. I never have because it's so intimidating! It requires *gasp* TOOLS.

If I started with a chaplet though, I might actually do it (less to mess up, see).

I'm off to Michael's to get supplies.


Free Friday continues.

This weekend, get a free slice of pie at Bob Evans.

Those in the NW can still get free cookie dough at Papa Murphy's.

AND TODAY ONLY: (while you're shopping up the Black Friday ads)

Get a free sample of Ocean Spray Craisins at Macy's.

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Thanksgiving Selfishness

Before we were married, my husband and I discussed several times what we would do for holidays. With the whole family, by ourselves, or some of both? Despite the fact we agreed (4 times) to do them by ourselves and "make an appearance" at family gatherings, I knew in my heart that agreement would go out the window at the first invitation to the extended-family feast.

I grew up hundreds of miles from any extended family, so all of our holidays were strictly our immediate nuclear family. I liked it that way; it was quiet, it was comfortable.

Up here, everybody lives within 10 miles of each other. Family gatherings mean excessive amounts of food, excessive amounts of noise, and for me, a lot of stress. I love these people! My husband's family is incredible. But even with these people I really love, it's stressful to for me to be in somebody else's house, eating somebody else's food, sitting on somebody else's couch, laughing at somebody else's jokes, and living somebody else's traditions when I just want to be at home with my own turkey on my own couch with my own husband.

I'm not going to lie. Since I was a little girl, I've dreamt of cooking at holidays for my husband. I love the excitement of making several dishes; the hubbub of timing each dish perfectly; the joy of a meal well prepared. My mother takes such pride in setting her beautiful table, making her mother's stuffing, glazing her candied yams... it was a delight to watch her. I looked forward to the day when I was married and could do it myself.

Now? Any dish I make to bring will get swallowed up in the cruise-like buffet. To make an entire meal here and then go over there for Round 2 would be wasteful and absurd. But what is the alternative? Making a grand feast and sitting here at home by ourselves when the party of the millennium is going on a few miles away? To be anti-social and hurt my husband's feelings by shunning his family... all because I want to stick a bird in an oven and put out my Thanksgiving napkins?

Despite the initial smarts and stings of accepting this fate, I've come to see that if we were back in the big city, I'd be at my parents' house in a heartbeat. We'll have years to ourselves later on; for now, I am so grateful I have a loving extended family who has welcomed me as one of their own.

I am so so grateful for the wondrous gift of the Sacrament of Marriage; the gift that helps rid us of our petty selfishness! The gift that takes the focus off of me, my wants, my desires, my ideas... and shows me how to die to self so as to best serve and love another. What a wonderful gift to be thankful for!!

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Tossin' the Pigskin

Well, this Friday and Saturday when others are shopping the Black Friday sales, taking post-Thanksgiving naps, watching football games... I'll be tossing the pigskin.




It's butchering time, and we're going to be making fresh sausages. I really hope not to witness the slaughter itself, but I've got to be around the day of because we're making (don't gag) blood sausage, boudin, bratwurst, Italian sausage -- they all need fresh meat (and blood and liver).

If I actually go through with this thing, I'll try to post some non-gory pictures!

Monday, November 23, 2009

Chastity Scapulars?

I am so scandalized by some of the things that go in our youth group.

Here was a conversation overheard this week:

Girl 1: "Did you know you get a partial indulgence everytime you kiss your scapular?"
Girl 2: "Wow! I'm gonna kiss mine all the time!"
Guy: "Sheesh. You're not supposed to make out with it."

Friday, November 20, 2009

Free Friday Rides Again

This morning I ate my Total Blueberry Pomegranate cereal for breakfast (that was a freebie several weeks ago). It was pretty good. I think I liked it a lot better because it was free.

In the NW, get free cookie dough at Papa Murphy's.

At Target (anywhere), get a free sample of Steaz tea.

Happy Weekend!

Thursday, November 19, 2009

Holy, Healthy, Happy


1. Woke up for early morning Mass!

2. Have eaten pretty healthy all week (except that Slurpee last night, but it was for the youth group!).

3. Gave up all negativity and complaining for 1 day this week (it was HARD!) and was amazed at how much my mood was improved all day.

Check out others' small successes this week at Faith and Family Live.

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Pride Cometh Before the Fall

I was really proud of myself this week. I've been making an effort to have more focused prayer every day, my house is spotless, I've been making delicious (and nutritious) dinners for my husband, waking up early, eating healthy, going to Mass, getting to-do lists done, not wasting time. I was on top of it! Things were going great.

Then this morning I checked my phone messages.

Three missed calls.

In my hyper-productivity at home this week, I missed 3 important meetings for work. I just completely forgot about them! Didn't even cross my mind.

I suppose if I get fired from the parish church at least I'll be able to keep up my domestic church!

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Quick Way to Empty the Fridge

Well, we're back from Florida!! It was... as expected... sunny, warm and beautiful.

Anyway, knowing we were going to be gone a whole week, I had to quickly empty my fridge before we left. I hate throwing away food, and we had a ton of vegetables that were on the cusp of going bad.

In a brilliant stroke of genius and inspiration...


Lots of vegetables and meat...

The black olives... and peppers... and mushrooms... sausage and pepperoni... ooey gooey cheese.

Kinda makes your mouth water a bit, hm?

 I think the bubbly browned cheese is the best, though.

We packed a whole pizza in zip-locks for the plane ride. Uuuh... yum.

And it's so stinkin' easy!!

Get my recipe for homemade pizza.

Monday, November 9, 2009


We're in Florida this week! Blogging will be sparse or non-existent until next Tuesday :).

Saturday, November 7, 2009


Over the next few months I'll be tweaking and expanding the blog a bit.

The first thing you might notice right away are the 3 columns (instead of 2). It was getting a little cramped in here. Also, there are image headings in places instead of text (and a new header!). I added a section for my friends' blogs (I don't necessarily agree with them all the time, but they're my pals!). And, what I'm most excited about at the moment are the new printable recipes.

To celebrate the new digs, watch this incredible short film that makes me cry.

Friday, November 6, 2009

Blustery Day

Fall is here.

Which really means... free labor from kids who want to make leaf piles.

Happy jumping.

Free Friday continues.

For those of you blessed enough to live near a Whataburger, on November 10th just wear some orange and get a free Whataburger.

Get some junk mail, no doubt, but also get a free pocket 2010 calendar.

And the best, by far: get a $5 gift certificate to chocolate.com for signing up for their newsletter. There are tons of things under $5 (including shipping) in their "Gifts Under $25" section (sort by price, twice, and you'll see them listed neatly).

Thursday, November 5, 2009


In the movie My Big Fat Greek Wedding, the dad's cure-all is Windex. It's a secret formula that can heal any ailment.

I've got my own panacea. My heating pad. Bad back? Lay on the heating pad. Headache? Sleep on the heating pad. Sore tooth? Just needs a little heat. Bad mood? Something to warm you up. Stomach ache? Works better than tea.

Today I've got a touch of the blues. I think I'll go lay on my heating pad.

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Seven Course Dinner

Yesterday I pulled out the crystal and china, had five guests come over, and made a seven course dinner. We had our house blessed by one of the guests, a Monsignor... it feels palpably holier in here now :).

It was too crazy to take pictures during the production so you'll have to imagine how it looked.

Here was the menu, though:

1st Course: Crab/Caramelized Onion Stuffed Mushrooms (Chardonnay)
2nd Course: Green Salad with Olives, Blue Cheese Crumbles, and Vinaigrette
3rd Course: Chicken and Angel Hair Soup
4th Course: Linguine Alfredo
5th Course: Filet Mignon, Chive Mashed Potatoes, Creamy Sausage Green Beans (Merlot)
6th Course: Homemade Ice Cream Nutella Sandwiches
7th Course: Candied Almonds, Fresh Apples and Brie (Port)

Only a few brave guests made it through all of the courses... some were struck down after the 5th.

Besides declaring a state of emergency in my pot-strewn kitchen, the evening was amazing.

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Dances With Squirrels

A few months ago my husband and I were driving through a national park and he squashed a chipmunk!! There was something almost sacrilegious about killing an animal in a national park. What was worse, the little rodent had a huge mouthful of nuts... probably taking them back to her starving little dewy eyed babies. At the time, I mercilessly harangued him for it but today I made a squirrel take a dance with death and I've seen the light.

I came inches from committing a hit-and-run on our street.

What could I do? The crazy squirrel darted out from behind a parked car into my path. He actually went through my wheels and lived to tell the tale.

Bucky rides again.

Monday, November 2, 2009

On A Quest

I'm on a quest.

For the perfect bacon.

There are just four qualifications for "perfect" bacon. It's got to be thick, not too fatty, not too salty, and has to inspire an unconsciously uttered "yum" after the first bite.

Oscar Meyer claims to be America's favorite bacon, and indeed it's pretty tasty. But it's just not thick enough.

I like "slabs" of bacon!

Others swear by Safeway's bacon...


It is very good, but I'm on a Safeway boycott because they proudly celebrate gay pride month every year.

This quest has not been without its trials, burdens, and discouragement. There've been some real ups and downs.

The darker days included the bacon so thick it was like a fatty pork chop. The low point came when the house was perfumed with the glorious aroma of bacon, but the strips were so salty our lips cracked.

After my last purchase resulted in Sahara-desert-mouths and Lipitor-qualifying-cholesterol levels, I almost gave up.

But then I... I found it.

The holy grail of bacon. It's thick. It's not too salty. It crisps nicely but is equally good chewy. And best of all... I unconsciously yelled out "YUUUUM!!!" after the first taste.

But it's not nationally available. It's a NW thing.

What's your favorite bacon?