I've had some insecurity issues with the government. In the illustrious tradition of the government picking judicial teams from amongst citizens, I've had to shift uncomfortably time and again while all of my family members were chosen and I was left holding my brand new dodgeball... still smelling of brand new rubber.
I watched each of them open their civil servant envelopes, wondering why I hadn't gotten a golden ticket, a chance to participate in our country's system of justice... to decide with prudence and justice the guilt or innocence of an alleged criminal.
And then it happened.
I WAS SUMMONED FOR JURY DUTY!!
Oh, after years of watching Perry Mason, I know for sure I can handle courtroom drama. I've daydreamed of being the rational, clear-sighted cool-headed Juror #8 (Henry Fonda) from 12 Angry Men.
Goodness gracious, in '95 I tuned in each day during lunchtime for the O.J. Simpson trial. I was born for this.
Here's the crisis, though: I'm set to report next week...
AND I LOST MY JURY SUMMONS!!!
I've got a call in to the county clerk for another one, but I can't help but feel my first chance to prove my worthiness to the Justice Department of this noble state has been an epic bungling failure.
Have you ever served on a jury? What was it like? Any advice?