Wednesday, August 31, 2011

Courtroom Crisis: My First Jury Duty

I've had some insecurity issues with the government. In the illustrious tradition of the government picking judicial teams from amongst citizens, I've had to shift uncomfortably time and again while all of my family members were chosen and I was left holding my brand new dodgeball... still smelling of brand new rubber.

I watched each of them open their civil servant envelopes, wondering why I hadn't gotten a golden ticket, a chance to participate in our country's system of justice... to decide with prudence and justice the guilt or innocence of an alleged criminal.

And then it happened.

I WAS SUMMONED FOR JURY DUTY!!

Oh, after years of watching Perry Mason, I know for sure I can handle courtroom drama. I've daydreamed of being the rational, clear-sighted cool-headed Juror #8 (Henry Fonda) from 12 Angry Men.


Goodness gracious, in '95 I tuned in each day during lunchtime for the O.J. Simpson trial. I was born for this.

Here's the crisis, though: I'm set to report next week...

AND I LOST MY JURY SUMMONS!!!

I've got a call in to the county clerk for another one, but I can't help but feel my first chance to prove my worthiness to the Justice Department of this noble state has been an epic bungling failure.

Have you ever served on a jury? What was it like? Any advice?

8 comments:

Holly Solis said...

HAHAHA!!!  Ohh my gosh I laughed so hard at this.  My advice is- enjoy it.  My case was cancelled right as we were being called.  I felt relieved, but afterwards I really wished I had gotten a chance.  If you don't want to do it, just tell them you're against the death penalty.

Farmer's City Wife said...

Hehehe, sounds great :). I suppose if my case is for something like a DUI, though, the death penalty excuse won't get me off.

Karmbrown said...

The case I was on turned out to be simply a new girlfriend wanting to make trouble for the ex-wife, so she told the police that her boyfriend's ex-wife had threatened to chop the gf's baby son up into little pieces and feed them to the gf.  Pretty gruesome, but I guess in the old country where they're all from, that is how you let the gf know she's not welcome.  The case pretty much fell apart when she got on the stand and said, "H@11 No, I'm not scared of her.  I would kick her @$$ if she came to my house.  I just called the cops because I want her deported. She calls my bf all time about their kids, and I'm sick of it."  We found not guilty and wished we could advise said bf to stay away from both of them! 

Farmer's City Wife said...

Yeorg. Sounds kind of exciting and terribly awful at the same time. I hope I get a petty theft case or something.

Molly said...

Actually, don't let on that you're kind of pumped about the thought of being on a jury.  Lawyers like to eliminate people who love courtroom drama.  :)  (I'm a fan myself.)  Brendan served as foreman for a terrible case of molestation of a young girl.  It haunted him for a long time especially because he "knew" the guy was guilty, but the county hadn't proven its case.  The guy worked at the Quizno's down the street.  Pray you get a case that won't scandalize you.    

Farmer's City Wife said...

Ooh oh, good to know. I'll keep it on the down low :).
Yeorg, yeah... I hope the case is nothing like that. :-\

Marie said...

You'll have to tell us when you can what happened..I've been called, but I'm also nursing babies most of the time, and get out of it...Oh well...

Farmer's City Wife said...

Well, they didn't call me this week... so I've got one more shot at it next week until my term has expired :).

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